Just a Geoduck in the Muck

Lately I've been feeling discontent. In my personal life. In my professional life. A general malaise lingers, despite my best efforts to shake it.

So many things going through my mind right now.

The kiddo.

Finances (the husband is especially fond of this subject).

Work (I can't stand going and have to force myself out of bed every morning).

Let's start with the kiddo. He probably bothers me most and I believe he is the source of most of my tension. He now wants to switch colleges yet again, this time headed for a very liberal school where the curriculum is...how shall I say it - suspect? He says that for someone with depression and his emotional/physical makeup, it will be the perfect school. Nevermind the fact he's already spent his entire college fund bouncing from out of state school to out of state school. All of it is gone, we're robbing from Peter to pay Paul just to ensure he can have that all-important piece of paper. Now he has the brainstorm to get a $30,000.00 student loan (which we have to cosign)and shack up in a 3 bedroom house (at the cost of $1,400.00 per month, plus utilities) with 2 "friends" (unknown to us) starting in December.

Then there's the finances. The hubby is always trying to find a better way to infuse our monthly budget with additional $. This isn't a bad thing, so don't get me wrong. But when he talks of refinancing, changing insurance agencies, etc. all of a sudden and all simultaneously, I want to

I don't even know that I want to discuss work. *sigh* I didn't want the job to begin with, but it was the right move to make at the time (or so I continue to tell myself) for the husband's sake (basically it was something like, he took this job & I came too or else he had no job). I was a happily content government employee with almost 14 years time in grade.
I was truly happy!!! I worked for a wonderful person, had great coworkers, good hours, lots of holidays, seldom worked overtime, hardly traveled. Now I'm gone 29 weekends out of the year and I've lost track of the total number of days spent on the road. I hate going to the office, it's the same repetitive schtick over and over again. I'm tired of dealing with people. I'm tired of playing boss. I've started applying for other jobs that seem interesting, like one that caught my eye in yesterday's classified section seeking a personal assistant (but an individual, not a company) and I've signed up for a website which sends email notices of jobs fitting my description. I just don't know what I'm worth any more, if my current salary isn't overinflated for the market.

So here I am, stuck. Mired in indecision.